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How to Deal with Money Issues While Dating: Goodman Factory Guide

September 26, 2020

Dating and money go hand in hand when it comes to relationships. One of the reasons many people have missed the right partner is money. Money has been a key reason as to why many people begin dating, and due to this, many find money issues to be a very delicate and complex issue to handle. The “default setting” and societal norms of the world has changed in many ways, in which dating is also a part. A professor once said that “we live in a material world”. There is the pressure of wanting to impress your partner with your financial status, gifts, luxury vacations and so on. 

In this blog post, we’re going to discuss money issues and how you can confront this problem. We will consider dating and money through the lens of a generalised worldview, tips to use when dating, and how money issues can be handled.

Dating and Money

Some people do not prioritise money when they start dating because they place a higher value on love, attention and respect. However, this is not the case for the vast majority of the world’s population; especially the youth demographic that upholds the philosophy that says “money makes the world go round”. It is hard to predict how much someone is worth when you’re meeting them for the first time. Some people may look good and stylishly dressed but are actually broke, while some may not look elegant or flamboyant but are worth a fortune. For those who intend on getting married, the dating period is a very delicate one. A lot of secrets and character flaws about your partner buried deep under the surface could be unearthed. Studies have shown humans can only pretend but for a short time. 

In the 21st century, nobody wants to date someone that is not financially independent or someone incapable of paying his or her bills. In times past, the burden of financial capability and prowess was placed on men but with the cultural change sweeping the globe in the 21stcentury, women are now being required to be financially stable by their male admirers as no one wants to commit to a liability. Money has caused many problems beyond repair in so many individual relationships. The fact that money issues are not an attitudinal problem (that lies in the power of individuals in the relationship to address) makes it a frustrating quagmire. What many do not understand about financial buoyancy is that it takes time and a lot of patience to manifest. Until then, stay loyal to your partner, support his or her dreams and hustle, provided they are making good efforts to become a more financially stable person. Before starting a relationship, use the following tips to have a successful dating life that could lead to a debt free, financially stable marriage: 

  • Be transparent about your financial status and dealings; let your partner know the exact amount you’re making and do not sugarcoat anything. In the next few days, be observant about their behaviour and monitor any behavioural changes.
  • Do not date because you feel you can afford the expenses of dating. You need a financially secure life, rather than money, to get along with dating. Financial security will save you the pain of being relegated in a relationship because it gives you independence and a level of power, especially for women. 
  • Also, there should be an agreement between individuals going into dating as to how the bills would be paid in every outing, how home bills would be shared if they intend on living together etc.
  • Date according to who or what you can afford. Can you afford to be dating a celebrity or someone with a known flamboyant lifestyle who is not willing to be responsible for the bills? This is a very important question that should guide your dating decision-making process. 

How to overcome money issues

Being broke or financially deficient can lead to depression or an inferiority complex, especially when you see friends treating their partners to luxury. If you can’t afford it, you start feeling the pressure of wanting to be like that friend. However, we have provided some solutions on how to overcome money stress.

Have strict budgets 

The major key to being a successful man in life is to be prudent in spending. Do not spend beyond what you can carry. Do not become someone who wants to impress. If you end up broke, this same set of people may abandon you with your problems.

Do background research on your potential partner

It is better to have a broken relationship than a broken marriage. Broken marriages lead to an eternity of psychological stigma that can make an individual lose touch with reality. Study your partner very well, know his or her weaknesses, and above all ask questions. Asking questions will unlock certain behaviours, unveil who your real partner is, and determine if this is the person you want to be with.

Give attention

We all love and crave the attention of our partner, and we seek to use every available moment on this. For women, the best way to deal with them is not just giving them attention, but using it to divert their attention away from monetary gifts. Attention gives them assurance that they are with the right person, they feel more secure, and through that, you begin to build a connection. If you don’t want money issues to rule your relationship, attention will have to be a key part.

Do not pressure yourself

This is more common with men who tend to put pressure on themselves because they work more, all for the sake of meeting up to societal standards. Once you put pressure on yourself, you’re likely to do something you would have never done before. This is because you have the urge to meet up to societal expectations, to avoid being looked down upon. In the course of doing this, there is no longer a balance between you and your partner anymore. Therefore, do not place so much pressure on yourself, take things slow. Let your girlfriend know what you can and cannot afford with your current situation.

Have a heart-to-heart talk

In this heart-to-heart talk, you should decide how you want to run your relationship so that it can lead to something meaningful. Let your partner know your flaws, discuss things you like and do not like. Honest conversations help relationships work out for good because the parties involved are able to iron out their differences. Dating is stressful and is too demanding on both men and women. The society we find ourselves in has put immense pressure on us finding our ideal partner. Dating goes beyond just having fun. Do you want to hear more about dating?

View video below and listen to this episode of the Goodman Factory podcast: Dating